Limbo

I was all ready, all psyched up and was completely mentally prepared.  I fasted for 24 hours, had a final shower, packed my bags and headed to the hospital.  I waited 5 hours in pre-op trying not to think about what lay ahead.  Then I get the news, my surgery has been bumped...until may 9th.  Ugh.  How dissapointing and what an emotional rollercoaster. 

I understand that someone else needed that extra time in surgery and i can't blame anyone one but this really sucks. I now have to wait a week with nothing really to do, so the surgery is weighing heavy on my mind.  It's not too bad but I'm already in Vancouver so I'm away from my friends, my family is here but there is not much to do other then whittle away the time.  I'm keeping busy enough but it just feels so unproductive and like I'm just waiting around.  I know there is not really a point to it but I just keep wishing I was already on the other side of this surgery and that it had gone ahead as scheduled. 

It's Go Time

Tomorrow is the big day.  Surgery day that is.  I'm being admitted to the hospital at 10:15 am.  It's strange but I still feel surprisingly calm.  I know it won't be easy but I feel well rested and ready to take this on. Plus I have been receiving so much love and support from all my friends and family.  They really are the best.  It might be a while but I'll do my best to update.  See you on the flipside.

Music Pick

Mmm chill music is what I'm into this week.  Love this one.

Fruit Bats ~ When You Love Somebody

School's Out For Summer!

I am finished my exams!  Boy am I glad that those are over with.  I just kinda wish that this was my last term.  One more to go so not that bad.

 I've also recently been learning to braid hair in different ways.  After 24 years I can finally french braid my own hair. Haha, took me long enough.  Now I am trying to master the fish tail....

T-Minus Not Long Enough!

It’s less than two weeks until my surgery date.  I’m holding it together but as it creeps closer and closer I am getting more anxious.  I currently have this chesty cough that won’t go away so I am hoping it goes away soon since I’m sure they won’t go ahead with the surgery if I’m not well.

There are still so many things I have left to do and so many things I want to do!  I know I won’t be able to do them all but I am trying really hard to get most done.  Along with all my chores I want still want to backyard camp, get up to see the sunrise, go for a walk on Dallas Rd., watch a terrifying movie, go out for breakfast and have an art day.  There were more but I am pretty sure I won’t get those done. 

Last time I went into surgery I went in thinking everything would be hunky dory but unfortunately things went bad fast.  There are times when I have a small moment of panic and think, I can’t do it again.  In these moments I am prepared to phone my surgeon and cancel my surgery.  The fact that I can is so tempting but I know this has to go forward.  I have been given so many second chances that I am scared I might have used them all up.  There is that thought lingering in the back of my mind that when I go in I might not come back out.  The thing that scares me most about this is all the things I haven’t done yet.  All the places I haven’t seen and all the people I still haven’t met that might be so important in my life.  I am scared of leaving my loved ones behind because I know it will be worse for them and they have been through so much on account of me already.

So my resolve is simply to fight with all I have.  Maybe this is all for nothing and everything will go well this time (knock on wood.)  And that is what I will hope for and imagine.  Other then that all I want to do is spend time with the people I love and have as much fun as I can pack into the next two weeks!! 

Yours truly Living life and loving to the fullest,

G

What's PSC?

This is a video that describes the liver disease I have.  It's a little dull but very informative. 

Transplant Trot

This weekend was such a good one.  Not only did one of my best friends come to visit from Calgary but I also went over to Vancouver for the Transplant Trot to raise awareness for organ donation.  It was a 5 or 8k run or walk.  I walked the 5k haha.  But it was such a good event! About 250 people showed up many of them were recipients of organs.  There was one very cute little girl who was the first child to receive a heart transplant in BC.  There was also the mother of a 17 year old organ donor who attended and spoke.  It was heart breaking but just so amazing that she came to support everyone.

Two of my friends came to join me on the walk and I knew a few of the people there.  Plus I got to meet another PSCer who lives in Vancouver and is also in his 20's.  He had a transplant about a year and a half ago and is doing really well.  It's hard to meet young people who have PSC around here it's so good to find connections.  I find that every other PSCer i meet I feel instantly connected with because I know they are going through the same things I have. 

We had great weather too!  It looked like it was definitely going to rain but we actually got some sun.  After the run there was a ton of snacks an we got swag bags it was just put together so well.  And here is the most amazing part...the run got media coverage on 3 news channels and in the 24 hours following the run 222 people registered online to become organ donors in BC!! A record.  It was such a success. 

I seem to be horrible in using my camera these days.  I wish I had brought it but I didn't, so instead here are some of the goodies we got at the run!